`I`ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex`
Duct tape won`t fix that.
Come to think of it, I`ll have a Heineken.
We don`t keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
You can`t feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it`s not safe.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We`re vegetarians.
Do you think my hair is too big?
I`ll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Deer heads detract from the decor.
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn`t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
The tires on that truck are too big.
I`ve got it all on a floppy disk.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
My fiancee, Betty Jo, is registered at Tiffany`s.
I`ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
Checkmate.
Hey, here`s an episode of `Hee Haw` that we haven`t seen.
I don`t have a favorite college team.

And the #1 thing you would NEVER hear a redneck say--

Elvis who?