Real Signs in Real Places

IN A LAUNDROMAT:
Automatic washing machines.
Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:
Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday
please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

IN ANOTHER OFFICE:
After the tea break staff should empty the teapot
and stand upside down on the draining board.

ON A CHURCH DOOR:
This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door.
(This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please
use side entrance)

OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP:
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc.
Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW:
Anyone leaving their garments here
for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW:
Closed due to illness.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK:
Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it,
there is a day care on the first floor.

A MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR:
We can repair anything
(Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.