Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple

Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the
problem.

Al Gore virus: Causes your screen saver to dance like a hideous
macarana.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self
destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across
rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of
little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim
to be the most important part of the computer.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent
of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin
of error).

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software says everything is fine.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly
altering its appearance.

Nike virus: Just Does It!

Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB,
and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of
your screen.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around.
It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead
refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".

Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just
before the whole thing quits.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.
Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.